Disabled children have many challenges facing them from birth. Not only do these children have their disability as a challenge in their life, but these children are often being hauled off to the doctors and separated from their parents. These children are also often ignored by their parents because their parents are afraid or don't know how to handle or approach them. One study showed that 50% of mothers with disabled toddlers ignored them. (Huebner, R. A., & Thomas, K. R., 1995)
These children often develop a sense of mistrust, that they have no one to take care of all their special needs. This causes problems with attachment. Those with attachment problems are more likely to have other mental problems later in life, such as depression and anxiety. These individuals also often suffer from attention problems.
Another factor that may negatively affect their development is the sheer act of labeling that child with the appropriate disability. While it is necessary for medical treatment, these children are stigmatized. They often have the bar set too low for them, and thus, will never reach their full potential.
For the past two years, I have been working with a high-functioning mentally disabled girl, who I will call Izzy. When I started working with Izzy, her mother declined to tell me just what her disability was – something which bothered me at the time. Looking back, I am able to see that Izzy's mom made the right decision in declining to tell me this. I was able to see for myself the individual things she needed help with – I didn't have expectations that she'd “probably never be able to do” something based on something I'd heard or read about her condition. It has allowed me to see beyond her disability and view her as just Izzy. I don't associate her behaviors with her disability; I view them as if she was a non-disabled person who just has problems with certain things. It has made my interactions with her more genuine and healthier for her. It has not limited me in my activities that I choose for the two of us.
Each individual person with a disability will struggle in certain parts of development. For example, certain individuals may never reach the conventional stage of Kohlberg's theory of moral development, and never understand the concept of a social norm, but be focused on what they got out of their actions instead. I've seen disabled people shove others because the attention would be diverted to them if they did it. Something was in it for them, so they did it. Others may comprehend that, and strive to fit in, but never reach the post-conventional stage where they're able to interpret and form their own morals. These children need to be taught on their moral level.
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